Enjoy this excerpt from Chapter 9 of my book, You Have 4 Minutes to Change Your Life, and an accompanying guided meditation from the same chapter. Also find a way to access a free audio download of the meditation at the bottom of this post.
Second only to the gift of life itself is the gift of free will. Each of us has been blessed with the power to make choices that affect the direction of our lives. We are born into circumstances not of our making, but our minds are our own. It’s the job of the Universe to present us with challenges, but how we accept each challenge—as a struggle or an opportunity—is completely up to us.
The pain that results from loss is an example of a challenge that can be turned into an opportunity. How we view loss and learn from pain is our choice. Think about the last time you experienced great loss. Did you see it as a slight against you? A punishment? Or did you recognize it as a chance to learn and grow? I’m not suggesting that you view the loss of someone or something you held dear as a blessing, but the gift of being allowed to choose how to react to it certainly is. Every difficulty we survive grows the soul. We become stronger through every tragedy—if it’s our will to do so.
We have no option but to move on from pain. Life goes on whether we choose to live in the present moment or not, and making a choice to stay energetically tethered to the past will lead only to suffering. Each present moment becomes an illusion of the past as soon as we enter the next present moment. Are you attached to an illusion and refusing to move on? No matter how crippling you perceive your pain to be, it’s your free will to decide between staying stuck in the past and living in the present.
Being changed by pain is also inevitable, but how you’re changed is a decision left largely up to you. Ignoring the opportunity to be changed for the better by your pain slows your soul’s growth and blocks future happiness.
When? Pain can be sharp and unpredictable and also dull and constant. This meditation will serve you in both circumstances. Practice whenever and as often as you need it. It can serve you well to practice this meditation regularly during the period after a great loss.
Where? Any time spent in deep self-reflection can be emotional, but for obvious reasons, this meditation may bring up very intense feelings. Practice in a safe, comfortable, and private space.
Position? A relaxed Easy Seat and Semireclined Bound Angle Pose are both appropriate poses for this meditation. Make sure you feel fully supported in your seat.
Place your hands on your thighs, knees, or to your sides with palms turned up or down. Choose whatever feels most comfortable for you. This may change from practice to practice. You’re learning how to connect easily to your intuition, and choosing the perfect positions for your meditations comes naturally for you now.
Practice your Meditation for Life after Loss with your eyes closed when guided, if you can. Open your eyes to read each instruction.
Feel safe in this moment knowing that the trauma is over. The painful event is in the past. You have the choice to feel safe, calm, and at peace in this moment. You have already made the loving choice to be here now through this demonstration of self-care.
- Close your eyes and allow your breath to flow naturally, observing it as it travels from your nostrils, down the back of your throat, fills your chest and your belly, and flows all the way down to your seat. Focus on your breath for ten full breath cycles or until you feel settled and calm in your seat. Then open your eyes for your next instruction.
- It’s time to repeat your mantras. It’s important that even if you don’t believe that your pain is changing you for the better right now, that you hold space for the possibility for this to be true.
- Repeat each of the following two mantras on each exhale of three breath cycles. Pause for a couple of breaths after the first set of breath cycles to open your eyes and read your next mantra. Also take a moment to allow the first mantra to settle just a bit. After your second mantra, open your eyes for your last instruction.
I choose to feel my pain but not be absorbed by it.
I see and accept the lessons my pain has brought me.
- Feel supported in this moment. You are grounded in your seat, and you’re completely safe. Be reminded that you’ve survived every painful event in your life. You are a strong and powerful being, a divine creation, and a vessel for pure love and light.
- End your meditation with one final mantra. Close your eyes and repeat it three times out loud at the bottom of each of three giant letting-go breaths. Inhale fully; exhale completely. Repeat: “I’ve changed for the better. I’m powerful in this moment.”
BONUS GIFT: Please enjoy a free audio download of this meditation to take with you everywhere when you submit your name and email below. If you’re not already signed up, you’ll also receive my (mostly) weekly Bliss Notes newsletter.
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Rebekah “Bex” Borucki, founder of BexLife.com and the Blissed In® wellness movement, is a mother-of-five, TV host, meditation guide, author, speaker, birth doula, fitness and yoga instructor, and popular social media personality. Her first book, You Have 4 Minutes to Change Your Life (Hay House 2017), is available now, wherever books are sold.
DISCLAIMER: This post/video is designed for educational and/or informational purposes only and should not be used in any other manner. This information is not intended to substitute informed medical advice. You should not use this information to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease without consulting with a qualified health care provider. A consultation with your health care professional is the proper method to address your health concerns. You are encouraged to consult your health care provider with any questions or concerns you may have regarding your condition.